It makes them so damned mad. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. I am full of vitality. I'm a peli-can! 99. Robert Bloch You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. Every time I like the taste of the food, I am damn sure that its unhealthy for me. "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.". "Disconnect to connect.". 242. Billy Wilder. My chins are a stairway to heaven. 151. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. Whatever the case may be, a sense of humor can go a long way toward changing your perspective on negative occurrences in your life. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? You wanna know who Im in love with? It just plain forms. A perfectly executed joke, said at a right time and at a right place, can change an awkward situation into a comfortable one. 1. Socrates. Sam Levenson Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. I am lazy till I get a motive. The rest are too expensive. If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big. I celebrate the highs, learn from the lows and now I release it into the past. 76. Inspiring Quotes About Life "Here, we like to keep you inspired by showing you beautiful words of wisdom based . Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. 71. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from inside. Funny Wednesday Work Quotes. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go., 5. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 7. happy. P.D. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. Work smarter, not for owning iPhones, but for not fearing their breaks., 3. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. My body deserves love. 9. 137. All rights reserved. A backbone. They log in. Why was six scared of seven? I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. 33 Humorous Affirmations [The Best Ones] Take a look! Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. 156. 17. Frances McDormand, 42. I just go normal from time to time. I dont cross oceans for people who wouldnt cross puddles for me. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer. 85. 227. 36. 220. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 54. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. 69. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. At night, I cant fall asleep. They allow you to focus on the positive and what is working in your life rather than dwelling on the negative. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 171. I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. Boost your ego and narcissism in as little as 5 minutes per day and set yourself up for success. I love my job only when Im on vacation. 74. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. I create my life on a quantum level. 224. 86. Art doesnt transform. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way. 200. Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. Top 10 Funny Affirmations For Self-Esteem, Funny Daily Affirmations To Boost Your Energy, Funny Positive Affirmations For Confidence, 90 Funny Affirmations To Start Your Day With Laughter, 90 Inspiring & Funny Quotes About Ageing Gracefully, 280 Positive Money Affirmations For An Abundance Mindset. I am so worthy so that I am filling the life of people with fun and joy. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. Read the first word again. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. But this shouldnt be a problem, as you can come up with your own humorous affirmations. 2. 70. When life closes a door, just open it again. We frequently doubt ourselves. Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. Make the statements about yourself and for yourself. Because someone is always sitting on the deck. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. "It's only WednesdayHang in there!". I am willing to ask for help when it serves my growth. Stop playing with me., 6. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 20 Positive Affirmations You Can Use to Inspire Your Life - Mindvalley Blog 1. Lorrin L. Lee. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. Dont forget to drink water and get some sun. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 142. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood Finally, if you want a simple tool to record and recite these affirmations, then check out these 13 affirmations apps that help you create a positive mindset. 280 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings - Luvze Short Positive Affirmations - 110 Powerful Affirmations - Mindbless What did one ocean say to the other ocean? 266. Benjamin Franklin. I dont know how to act my age because Ive never been this old before. You may feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable. Dont forget to check out our post onlove yourself quotesandvision board quotesto attract positivity in your life. Let us know which of these motivational affirmations inspired you the most. 18. 197. I am joyful for achieving the ones I did. 69. Chop your own wood. 115. 5. 274. Whatever I do, I will do it for fun, but with dedication and focus. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldnt complain. When you feel terrified (without your safety being in danger): 5. - Bob Hope. Below youll find a collection of funny affirmations for work that will help you stay motivated and fight the work stress more efficiently. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. My farts aren't nearly as bad as my dogs'. 20 Most Powerful Affirmations Because Thoughts Become Things You can only be young once. Effective pushing often involves poop. They shape our present and have an impact on our future. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 2. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. 11. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. 189. Those who snore always fall asleep first. Wonderwoman: single. 31. 158. I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Pat Sajak Paul Ehrlich 211. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting! Robert A. Heinlein "If you see me talking to myself. Steven Alexander Wright. Why did the can crusher quit his job? "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. So life is not always "All The Way Up", I guess. 193. East I always find something funny in every situation. 12. Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. Im not insulting you. I am enough. 16. My windows arent dirty, my dog is painting. Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. 50. Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. Helen Giangregorio Enjoy! 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 170. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. 153. Jackie Collins, 240. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. Not everyone has to like me. 271. Theres no stopping me now. All you need is love. - Unknown. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. Laughter also has a social aspect, as its the perfect way to bond with people. 119 Positive Affirmations For Women To Use Daily - Live Bold and Bloom How Do People Share The News About Their Engagements? 3. 1,132 Positive Affirmations: Your Daily List of - Develop Good Habits Some when they enter, some when they leave. 24. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! Albert Einstein Groucho Marx. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. I didnt mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Why become moody when you can shake your booty. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. 39. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Some people are like clouds. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Need to send some positive energy your way? I might take a nap if I get tired, but I wont quit. I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. Top 75 Funny Daily Affirmations | Committed To Myself 109. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. 267. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.". God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". By waking up and repeating this mantra, you will set the tone for the day. Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor..